A divorce leads a couple, especially the females, in a position where they undergo a lot of mental pressure coupled with a mix of emotions. Further, apart from the separation process, multiple questions may arise in the wife’s mind, such as how to file a divorce?

How to choose a divorce lawyer? How to discuss alimony? And, many similar things, especially when you think about discussing monetary terms, i.e., alimony. Discussing it and coming to a conclusion can be quite a challenging task.

But you need to proceed with the same taking care that you negotiate it to a level by which you and your kid, if any, can survive well without facing any financial crunch. But it is easier said than done; there are chances that your partner may not agree to your deal.

So, negotiation is not going to be a piece of cakewalk. But despite all of this, you need to keep a calm head and prevent conflicts. Here are a few tips that you can consider while negotiating with your spouse.

Make Sure That You Have Done Your Homework Right

Preparation is the key and acts as a defense when you negotiate with your partner. You might have gained all the information about alimony but still prefer to read more, leaving no room for ignorance.

Before you search for tips on how to file for divorce or hire a divorce lawyer, make sure you have read enough about alimony and are well prepared for the divorce proceeding. Further, you can discuss the same with your lawyer as they can throw the right amount of light on this topic and guide you through the right path for filing alimony.

Give Time

Divorce does not go easy on the couple, and the two of them may have a huge level of temperament during the negotiation process. And, if the two of you cannot get to a place where an agreement occurs, it’s always better to take a break and give time to each other.

Clashes and rows may cause the couple to stick to their egos and thus may hinder the negotiation process. Hence, waiting for things to cool down and resuming the negotiation process later can be a wise way to reach the endpoint.

Do Not Pressurize

Yes, we agree that alimony is essential. After all, you need some means for your survival, and by law, it’s your right to claim the same. But ambushing is not the right way to tackle an alimony discussion. In fact, ambush, anger, tiff, all such things are going to hike the debate and lead you nowhere.

So instead of simply pressurizing your partner, allow them some time and consider having a productive conversation for negotiating the alimony rather than merely entering into an argument.

Do Not Settle Anything Out Of The Court

Divorce and alimony are something that is settled inside the court, and once it gets finalized, make sure that you stick to the same and do not settle down anything out of court. For example, if it was decided that your ex will be paying you twice a month, abide by the same.

And, if he requests that he will be paying once a month, even if you agree, make sure that the decision is agreed upon in front of the court.

Also, there may be cases when the partner may skip a few payments due to some or the other urgency, and the other partner may be okay with such a thing. They may ask you for a grace period or convince you that they will pay the same lump sum after two to three months, but what if it becomes a routine practice?

What if they fail to adhere to their words and leave for a holiday while you wait for your cheque to be credited? The chances are that you may fall in trouble, and thus such things should be avoided, or enforcing the same and bringing it back on track can be a hard nut to crack.

Keeping Calm

A divorce is a life-changing event usually accompanied by harsh feelings, grudges, hatred, revenge, and many more such negative feelings. In some cases, the reason for divorce may be such that all you may feel like is simply getting your money and walking over without facing the person.

But, sometimes keeping calm and negotiating with a matured approach can help you cross the biggest mountains and help you get the alimony in your favor.

Don’t lose your cool, and go with a calm head while negotiating for alimony. Also, cut down the blame game and better focus on your feelings and the actual scenario for which you will need the money. Further, take your stand and openly speak about your ideology behind the alimony agreement proposed.

Think & Doublethink Before Giving Up On Alimony

In some cases, when the wife is well to do, she may think of waving off the alimony. They may come to such a decision thinking that they earn enough for a living and don’t need to depend on their ex for the same.

This is fine when you take into consideration self-dependence, but experts suggest that one should always keep the doors open no matter even if it’s a penny, just in case of any emergency or when something different is to be placed in your kitty.

If you decide to waive off the alimony in the first place, it is waived off forever, and you can never seek support at a later stage. But if you keep the door opened slightly, there are chances that you may take your stand and request for an amendment, just in case a need arises.


Filing for a divorce and negotiating for alimony in itself is a marathon race to conquer. Apart from the level of tension and anxiety it brings along, the fact is no one ever thinks of falling into such a situation where one has to sit and discuss alimony with their partner with whom one thought about spending their entire life together.

Leave alone the negotiation conflicts. But with the tips mentioned above, you can surely be at a better place rather than ending up in arguments.

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